Love After Love
by EverAfter89
Summary: Rose and her baby are alone and homeless and Rose is forced to turn to her mother for help. Ruth seperates her from her daughter and forces her into a marraige while living at the English court, but then Rose falls in love with yet another man. A story of
1. Nothing But A Whore

I sat trembling in this near stranger's bedroom. He was in the bathroom, getting undressed and I was supposed to be doing the same thing. Well, I should have been for what he was paying me.

"What's the big deal?" I asked myself. "He'll have me, he'll pay me, and I will be able to afford food and clothes for my baby."

The man door opened slowly, and before I knew it, I was out the door and running down the street. I'd left my baby with my friend, Maggie, a prostitute who had given me this stupid idea.

"What's wrong?" Maggie asked in me strong New York accent when I came running to her, panting. "He hurt you or something?"

"I couldn't do it!" I sobbed.

"Well then you're a fool. Because this baby's got one hell of a fever." She said in a matter of fact sort of way.

"What! Give her to me!" Maggie handed me the little girl, named Kate, only a month old and already dying of God knows what. "Oh Lord, what am I going to do?"

"Get some money, hun. Because chances are, she'll die."

I cringed at the thought. I couldn't stomach the thought of loosing my Kate. She was precious to me, and all I had left of Jack. "I just don't see how I can sell myself. It's wrong."

"You'd best decide soon what you're gonna do. That thing aint gonna hold out long."

"Oh God," I breathed. My heart pounded and I was filled with apprehension and anxiety.

"Swallow your pride, Rose," said Maggie. "Go back to her and you know she'll do what she can to save that kid."

I was insulted, despite the fact that I knew she was right. I lied on street against the wall and held my baby close. Maggie bent down and handed me a slip of paper. "It's all I can afford. My rent's due next week…but maybe this will get you where you need to go." She walked away quickly and I opened my hand. She had given me thirty dollars. I called out a thank you but she was too far away to hear it. Somewhere deep inside me, I knew that I would never see her again.

I stood up and went to the post office and scribbled a note. If I was going to my mother, I was going to give her fair warning so she wouldn't be too emotional around me. It said:

_Mother,_

_Jack is dead but I am not. I gave birth to our child about a month ago. Katharine is her name and she is very ill. I need your help so I'm coming to you. I hope that you will accept me into your home, at least until my baby Kate is well again. _

_Best Regards,_

_Rose Dewitt-Bukater Dawson_

I wondered if she would believe that I was alive when she got the letter, so I reached into my satchel and pulled out the only picture I had of me with Kate, kissed it, and placed it in the envelope. I mailed it and got my ticket on the next ship going to England where I knew my mother to be, based on a newspaper article I'd read some months ago.

Leaving New York was not the hard part. Boarding a ship again was.

**Okay, this chapter was very short, but it gets a lot better! Read and review every chapter if it's not too much trouble because I love and need reviews for motive to keep writing. **


	2. Flying

The ship was called The Independent. She was big, though not nearly as large as the Titanic. She had two immense smoke stacks, two less than Titanic. It was a cool afternoon in January when I boarded her. My heart was pounding and I must have looked nervous, for as I crossed from the walkway into the ship itself, a steward said, "Nothing to be nervous about, Misses. This ship is strong and sturdy."

"And lifeboats?" I snapped irritably. "You have enough of them?"

"Well of course! We don't want another Titanic disaster on our hands. Is it your first time sailing?"

"Hardly," I said flatly. "Would you be so kind as to show me to my cabin?"

He nodded and I showed him my ticket. "Third class, eh? Right this way." He walked two paces in front of me and carried my satchel and shoulder bag for me. Kate began to cry, hungry to suckle me, so I stuck my finger in her mouth to pacify her. "Cute kid," he said. His name tag read 'Robert.'"

"Thank you very much," I said graciously. My mood was always lifted when someone complimented my girl.

"You're lucky to have picked The Independent." Robert told me and he showed me to the elevators. I stepped inside and he took me down.

"Why is that?"

"Because," he said as the lift slowly made its way to the bottom, "our third class is nicer than most second class. No rats, clean sheets, and plenty of baths and toilets. We keep it spick and span down here." I smiled and told him that would be nice. I didn't tell him that this was the first time I would be sleeping in a bed in 10 months and the first time I would be given regular meals. The elevator shuddered and stopped abruptly. "Here we are. D-deck." There were small clusters of families clogging the hallway and he pushed a way through for me. "Ah," he said when he found my cabin. "D-19." He knocked on the door and there was no answer so he opened it up and let us in.

I looked around. There were two sets of bunk beds, one of them for whoever my roommate would be, the other for me. Robert chose the one by the window for me and set my bags on the top bunk. "I'm assuming you'd like a crib in here."

"Can I get one?" I asked.

"I'll see what I can do," he said reassuringly, and left me to get one. I held Kate close and inspected my quarters with an uncritical eye. The toilet was in a nook and there was a sink and mirror, too. A bright light bulb was on the ceiling and the sheets on the beds were white with knit-blankets that had "The Independent" sewn on. There was a knock at the door and I said to come it. It was Robert, carrying a medium sized basket. "Lifted it from second class." He told me and winked. "No cribs, but this should do. And you can take her up on deck and let her sleep in it beside you so you don't have to hold her."

"I wish I could tip you," I said, "But I've no money. Only the clothes on my back."

"I think they would make me look fat," he said and I laughed. There was an awkward pause and he sighed. "Well, I'd best get back to my work."

"Goodbye. And thank you." He nodded and left while I unpacked. It didn't take long. All she had was the dress and shoes she'd worn the night of the sinking, a sleeping shift, a gray dress, Hamlet, her baby's things, and a news paper from April 15 along with the clothes she had on. Of course, she had the Heart of the Ocean as well, but she left that in her pocket where it was safe.

I used my spare dress to pad the bottom of the basket and made sure Kate was bundled up safe and tight before placing her inside it. I felt…nervous. I suppose it was just being on a ship again. After all, it was a great ship that had caused so much shit in my life. I thought that it might provide me with solace though, so I left my cabin and made the long journey up to the boat deck. I had missed the departure; I'd wanted to. By now we were sailing straight ahead towards Southampton.

Everyone was in their rooms getting unpacked. It was about 5:30, the departure had been a late one. No one was on deck when I got there and I wasn't surprised to find that the bow-ish area was the third class deck space. Kate gurgled and I looked down at her lovingly. She looked so small, bundled inside the basket. Like a little doll.

I walked slowly to the very front of the ship as if a magnetic force drove me there. I set Kate down carefully about half a foot away from me and shaking, stood there at the edge, leaning on the barrier. The wind showered my face and I breathed in the salty sea air. I'd missed it.

My heart pounded in my chest as I stepped one foot, then the other, onto the railing. I held onto the flag pole with one hand and looked down quickly to make sure Kate was alright. She was lying there, eyes on me, staring intently as if she were studying me. I closed my eyes and turned my head back to the ocean. I lifted my arms up like…like wings. I held onto nothing. The force of the wind held me aloft. After a deep breath, I opened my eyes and that same feeling…a feeling of love and happiness…filled my soul once again as I glided over the ocean towards the sunset like a bird.

"I'm flying," I whispered. "I'm really flying." There was only one thing missing from this moment. A man to kiss. "Oh Jack." I could barely get the words out. My throat always tightened at the thought of him.

Suddenly, the ship jolted forward, and so did I! I tried to balance myself as I fell forward almost over the rail! But an abrupt gust of wind pushed me forward and I found my balance. I calmed myself and held the flagpole once more. I closed my eyes for a moment and opened them again. "Thanks, Jack," I said, convinced it was he who saved me just then. And with that, I felt the lightest breeze stir my hair.

I realized then that I was not alone. Jack was the wind, the stars, the sky, the sea, the tress. He was everything and no matter where I was or who I was with, he would always be with me. That I could count on no matter what.

I stood there for a time watching the sunset. Flying to the horizon was something I could never grow bored of. But the sun finally went down and it was getting cold. Kate stirred and so, with a bit of a heavy heart, I climbed down and lifted my baby from her basket. "There, there," I cooed. "Mommy's here." Then I gathered my bundles and my skirts and headed back down to my cabin.

When I opened my door, a middle aged woman and her young daughter were already unpacked by the other bunk.

"Are you the roommate?" asked the woman. I nodded.

"Oh look, Mummy!" Cried the girl, who looked about 11 or 12. "She has a baby!" She ran up to me, excited. "I'm Maia."

"Rose."

"May I hold your baby, please? She's so cute."

"Maia!" she chastised. Then she turned to me. "I'm so sorry. She's usually not this upbeat. It's just being cramped up like this. She's not used to it."

"Oh, it's really alright," I said. There was nothing I liked more than when people complemented my baby. "This is Kate. She's only a month old, so be careful. She's a bit ill." The woman advised her daughter to sit down first, and I handed over the bundle.

"Oh, how precious!" Maia exclaimed. We all watched as Kathrine looked around with wide eyes, then smacked her lips twice and stuck out her plump tongues and drooled a little. She yawned a big baby yawn and stretched her arms, then closed her eyes and fell asleep. "Look, mama," Maia whispered. "She's sleeping in my arms."

"Perhaps you should give her back to her mama, then," the mother said quietly. The girl nodded and have her back to me. I smiled proudly at my creation, then set her in the basket by my bed.

"Thank you, Rose," Maia said.

"Of course," I told her. "Any time."

Then I reached in my back, pulled out my sleeping shift, went to a corner and changed, before collapsing onto the bottom bunk and falling into a deep, dreamless sleep.

Kate must have been exhausted as well, for she slept through the entire night and didn't wake until 7:00 the next morning. Her cry awakened me and I opened my eyes sleepily. Then I sat up quickly and hit my head on the bunk above me. "Ahh." I rubbed my head and tried to remember where I was. I looked out the porthole beside me and remembered I was on my way to see my mother so she could support me and my baby and I was filled once more with an overwhelming amount of nervous apprehension.


	3. Land ho!

I was lying in the tight space of a car. I could smell the sweet smell of new leather mixed with the smell of my sweat and a man's. Jack's. I was warm beneath him. But when I rolled over a put my arm across him, it hit nothing but air. A baby's cry woke me from my sleep but I didn't open my eyes.

I was too tired to even move. She cried louder and louder still, and I finally opened my eyes. _What? Where was I?_ I sat up, startled and felt a hard blow on the top of my head. I crouched down and looked up. A top bunk. I was in my cabin. At sea. My fifth day at sea, to be exact. Remembering Maia and her mother and their need for sleep, I picked myself up and brought Kate to my breast. Usually I was happy to let her feed, but now all I wanted to do was curl up in bed and worry about how my mother would receive me. I squeezed my eyes shut and tried to go back to Jack, but the dream had escaped me. Only a dream.

We got an early start, though. After just a little more sleep, I got myself up, packed my few things all in a carpet bag Robert had found for me, said goodbye to my cabin-mates and made my way upstairs for breakfast which I took out on the deck. It was very cold out, so I'd lifted my blanket from my bed and had it wrapped around my shoulders. For hours I sat there sipping coffee with Kate in my arms and waited for Southampton to come into view. I knew we were getting closer when seagulls came and landed on the deck, looking for handouts. I didn't disappoint them, and threw a few crumbs from my scone. I couldn't eat anyway. I was too nervous.

I imagined different scenarios involving seeing my mother. In one, I came up and rang the doorbell and she answered it. The moment she saw me, she shut it in my face and left me alone to die. In another, she was waiting for me when the ship docked and embraced me when I came to her and cried happy tears. Then I wondered about Cal. Perhaps she would try to force me to go back to him! Surly not! Surly not! But as I stared at my few things and thought of the meager necessities my mother now lived with, I realized, _she surly would! _

I nearly got sick at the thought of seeing him again. The last time I saw him, he tired to kill Jack and me. What would he do to our baby? The idea of him hurting her brought me near tears. I wanted to go back to New York and get as far away from them as humanly possible.

Too late. England came into view and someone shouted, "Land ho!"

"Land ho!" The crew repeated.

"Land ho!" cried some passengers.

"Land ho," I whispered, and held Kate tightly to my chest and walked to the bow. The wind blew in my face as I watched Southampton creep closer and closer. We docked and as everyone got off, but I just stood there, avoiding walking to my doom. Kate's cough was enough to convince me that there was a greater good, so I gathered my courage and disembarked.

_Now what?_ How would I get to London where my mother was living? I figured I would have to hitch my way there until something caught my eye. It was a small sign displaying my name, being held up by a man in a suit. I approached him. "I am Rose DeWitt Bukater." I said. He held up a picture to my face, the one I'd sent to Mother, and compared the two.

"Come with me," he said. "Your mother has new lodgings, and she sent me to escort you there."

He took my carpet bag from me and led me to a horse drawn carriage. "Classy," I said to myself.

"What?"

"Nothing."

He opened the carriage door and helped me inside. "YA!" he shouted a few moments later, and cracked his whip. With a jolt we started moving. We got out of the port and rode for about 20 minutes and then we stopped.

"We can't be there already," I said more to myself than to him.

"We aren't. This is the train station that's taking us there."

I nodded and we went to a train. He handed a man our tickets and escorted me inside to a rather nice private cabin, then left me. I sat there watching the scenery fade from busy streets, to calm towns, to bare meadows, and then back to busy streets. Four hours passed until I recognized that we were in the outskirts of London. The train stopped and mother's valet came back to take me off the train and into another carriage. Only 20 minutes later, we stopped. I was quite exhausted by now and wanted nothing more than to sleep for the rest of the afternoon.

I got out of the carriage and recognized the manor house immediately. It was my father's old house, where the children from his previous marriage had lived when they were younger. Mother must have taken up residence with them.

Elated, I ran to the door and was about to rush inside to see my beloved step brother and step sister when I remembered Mother. I stopped, composed myself, and knocked three raspy knocks on the oaken door. Light, quick footsteps signaled someone coming and I braced myself. The door was opened by a maid, about my age, with dark brown hair pulled back into a bun. "Yes?" she said, sounding quite nervous.

"Hi…" I said, "I'm Rose, black sheep of the family."

"Oh, I'm sorry, Miss!" She cried.

"Sorry for what?" I said flatly.

"I didn't know you were Miss Rose. I…I…"

"Mother scolds you quite a bit, doesn't she," I guessed. She looked around nervously and nodded.

"I'll show myself in," I said. "You can go hide in the kitchen if you like."

"Thank you," she gasped and ran off. I clucked in disapproval of my mother's treatment of her and went into the sitting room. It was the same as it had always been when I'd come to visit my step siblings. The room was what Anna (my step sister) and I would call "The Mauve Room" for everything in it was mauve. The carpet, the curtains, the designs on the wallpaper, the sofas, and the table cloths. All of them were mauve. It was actually rather obnoxious, how everything matched.

Then I heard more footsteps and looked up to the stairs. "ANNA!" I cried, and ran to her, still holding Kate.

"Rose!" She rushed down the stairs and we embraced each other. "Oh, Rose! It's true! You're really alive! Praise the Lord!"

"Have you married Sam yet?" I asked excitedly, remembering that she had been engaged to a man she barely knew when I last saw her before I went on Titanic.

"Yes, 2 months ago."

"And have you done it?"

"Ages ago."

"Did it hurt?"

"Very much."

We giggled. This was always how we had been. She used to be so worried about her wedding night. When we were girls, we would talk about it and blush and giggle our heads off when we should have been practicing piano or with our tutors.

"Is George here?" I said, remembering my step brother, 2 years older than I, 1 year older than Anna.

"He lives at court now, with his wife."

"He's married? When? To whom?"

"Some fancy snob named Mary. He likes her not. She's such a snoop. They married last month."

"I can't believe I missed all this." I said. "Will George be here later?"

"Yes. Perhaps tomorrow." Then she looked at the bundle in my arms. "Oh is this Katharine? Oh, she's darling! May I hold her?" I nodded and handed her over. "Oh, hello sweetie. I'm your auntie Anna," she said in prattle.

"Are you going to have children someday?"

She nodded happily, then suddenly looked up like a wild rabbit who just heard a predator. "Stepmother's coming," she said. "You'd best sit down." We rushed back to the sofa and sat down daintily. Anna handed Kate back to me and I held her to me. She was probably hungry, but she would have to wait.

I heard light footsteps and the sound of a dress sweeping against the floor. Then I watched as my mother gracefully entered the room.

"Rose," she breathed and she looked quite blanch.

"Hello, Mother," I said a sweetly as I could.

She took a deep breath and began thoughtfully chewing her lower lip.

"You've been well?" I asked.

She nodded. "And you?"

"Very well."

"Who is this?" She said, indicating my baby.

I smiled proudly. "Your granddaughter, Kate."

"Katharine," Mother corrected.

"Well, I call her Kate…" I told her, not seeing the problem.

"This is proper England," she explained. "I suggest we call her by her proper given name."

I nodded. There was no use arguing and I didn't want to get in a fight so soon. Anna played with her thumbs while we all sat in an embarrassed silence.

Anna finally opened her mouth, about to speak but Mother cut her off. "I suppose we should discuss the…situation at hand," she said.

"Oh," I said. Then "Oh," again. "Right." It was like she didn't even care I was alive and well and she was looking at her only daughter for the first time in almost a year. I felt a pang of hurt and tried to act adult. "What was it you wish to discuss?"


	4. No Other Way

"AHHHHHHHHHHHARRRG!" I shrieked as loud as I could and threw my shoe against the wall. "UGHHHHH!"

"Rose, calm down!" Anna cried.

I spun around and pointed an accusing finger at her. "You!" I shouted. "YOU!" I don't know why. I picked up my other shoe and thrust it as hard as I could. It hit a porcelain lamp and Kate began to cry. Anna took her from her crib and rocked her gently. "I won't give my daughter up!" I screamed. "I WON'!"

"Rose, if you don't let stepmother send her off to Essex, she'll throw both of you out on the streets, and then what? Think of the child, Rose. She's sick, and if you leave with her, chances are, she'll die."

I cringed at the thought. "Give her to me." I took my baby and began to feed her. "She needs me! And…I need her. If I agree to marry someone of mother's choosing…I may never see her again."

"Rose…"

"Jack died teaching me to love. I won't dishonor his memory by marrying a man I do not love." Then the tears started.

Anna started to comfort me, but there was a knock at the door. "Hello?" Said the man outside.

"George!" I shouted, and Anna rushed to get the door.

"Rose!" He walked right past his sister and into my embrace. He looked so different. So grown up. He looked stronger now, and he had a beard. There were tears in his eyes. "I thought you were dead."

Anna smiled upon us. "I'll leave you two alone." And she left.

I allowed him to admire Kate for a moment. He ran his hand over her soft hair. "Mary wants to have children," he said. He looked up to me and gasped. "Rose, you're crying! What is it?"

I shook my head. "It's everything! It's Mother." I laid Kate back in her crib.

"What has she done to you?"

"She's horrible. I hate her so much! And she hates me. I thought…I thought things might be different. But they aren't."

He shook his head. "She doesn't hate you. She didn't stop crying for months after you…died. She just resents you leaving her. That's all."

"Do you KNOW what she's making me DO?" He stared. "She's taking Kate away. My baby is sick, and she's sending her manor house in England to get well. She's employed a governess and everything!"

"But she'll be safe. And healthy."

"**I **want to raise her."

"It could be worse."

I shook my head at him. "It is. She's…she said that if she's going to pay for care and medicine for Kate, then I have to marry."

His jaw dropped. "Who?"

"I don't know. But I can guarantee that I won't be the one to choose."

"Oh, Rose." He grasped my hand and held it firmly.

Then, the tears came rolling in. "She's taking Kate first thing tomorrow morning." And I fell into his arms, sobbing.

My mother wanted her granddaughter to be raised as a lady. She assumed that I, therefore, could not be the one to raise her. It wasn't uncommon for girls to be sent away. I had used to go months without seeing my mother. I'd lived in the very same manor house to which she was sending Kate. There, I was taught strict etiquette and manors, until I was sent away to boarding school at the age of seven. I hadn't been horribly UNhappy there. But neither had I been happy. I couldn't fathom life without seeing my daughter every morning and tucking her in every night.

"She said I can spend summers with her," I told him, trying to pacify myself. "If I marry."

"Why don't you just take her and leave?"

"I would," I began, "only look at her." He bent over her crib and studied her cheeks, pink as one might have imagined Father Christmas's to be. A light cough could be heard coming from her every few minutes. "She'll die," I said, my voice breaking. "There's no other way."


End file.
